it's funny how people would grow on you unexpectedly.  just like me missing christopher.  i haven't seem him for maybe 6 hours, yet i miss him.  when he's around though, i tend to run away from him because all he wants to do is for me to pick him up and make him sit on my lap while he watches the wiggles. 

then there's him.  i don't know why i'm feeling this way.  i'm not usually like this.  when i spoke with m, he told me it's probably just because i've gotten used to having him around that now that he's busy doing stuff, i'm getting panicky.

of course, there's the ultimate crush.  i seem to be talking to him a lot of times lately.  quite surprising, considering that i've always been trying to avoid calls and messages from him.  =)  and i love love love talking to him.  reminds me of home, really.  it's funny how we'd talk about how we used to hang out and how shy we'd be of each other that we're always watching out what we say or do.  i don't know.  just the idea makes me laugh. 

my sister's starting to pack her stuff for her vacation in london (and scotland).  lately, she's been very vocal about how worried she is that she'll be leaving me behind.  she's worried that i won't be eating right and that since i rarely go out, i might end up dead and the neighbors wouldn't even know about it.  i just laugh when she says so. 

i'm usually okay with being alone.  that's one thing i guess that i have in common with ultimate crush ---- (i finally admitted to having something in common with you, haha.  although i still ahve to say you're quieter than i am)  i'm okay with being alone in the house --- as long as i have my phone, my computer and some music.  it's not something new to me as i have been left alone at the house numerous times when family members would leave the country --- although i have to warn that that's when i also am most of the time not at home and partying elsewhere.  but duh.  it's a few weeks away and i'll be okay.  it's not like i'm 15 years old.  on the contrary, i'm legal age and that should scare the hell out of them knowing that i'll be home alone.

oh.  and i just have to say this, loneliness is a difficult thing to fight. 

and yeah, i miss him.  i'm scared that i'll end up getting tired of missing him.